Foreword

p. xiii

Acknowledgments

p. xvii

Prologue

p. xix

Introduction

p. 1

The Complex Nature of the Intermarriage Challenge

p. 2

Doing More of the Same

p. 4

How to use This Manual

p. 5

Key Reasons Why the Archdiocese is Concerned

p. 7

Basic Statistics 

p. 7

The Importance of Family Among Greek Orthodox Christians

p. 7

Marriage and Family Literature is a Multimillion Dollar Industry

p. 7

Past Clergy and Laity Conferences

p. 8

Summary

p. 8

Local Church's Leadership Role

p. 9

Intermarriage Statistics

p. 9

Couples Want Help

p. 9

A Need for Useful Information

p. 9

Becoming Mindful of Intermarried Couples' Needs

p. 10

Evangelism Facilitated

p. 10

Preventing the Drift Away from Our Churches

p. 10

An Overview of a Family Case Study

p. 11

The "X" Family

p. 11

Summary

p. 13

What Is the Intermarriage Research Project (IRP)?

p. 14

Methodology

p. 14

Respondents who Participated

p. 15

Description of Interview Process

p. 16

Techniques to Ensure Trustworthiness

p. 17

Report Style

p. 18

Why Conversion is Not Always an Option

p. 19

Familiarity With One's own Religious Tradition

p. 19

Unfamiliarity With One's Partner's Religious Tradition

p. 20

Doctrinal Differences

p. 20

High Levels of Attachment to One's Cultural Heritage

p. 21

Spouses With Equally low Levels of Religiosity

p. 22

When one of the two Spouses is Nominally Religious

p. 22

When Faith and/or Ethnicity Impacts One's Sense of Self 

p. 23

A Renunciation of One's Faith Tradition

p. 23

A Betrayal and Disloyalty of One's Familial Culture

p. 24

A Respect for Extended Family Members' Feelings

p. 24

Growing up in an Inter-Christian Household

p. 25

Minimal Pressure from Family of Origin

p. 25

Conversion is a Personal, Private Issue

p. 26

Imposing Conversion on One's Partner is Against God's Will

p. 26

A Broad, Inclusive View of Their World

p. 27

Dominant American Societal and Cultural Influence

p. 27

Age and Number of Years Married

p. 27

Additional Relevant Factors Related to Non-Orthodox Participants

p. 28

Summary

p. 29

Reasons Why Intermarried Couples Become Single-Church Couples

p. 31

Conversion Eliminates Possible Sources of Contention

p. 32

Time, Tolerance, and Education

p. 32

Respectfully Sharing Greek Orthodoxy

p. 32

Weak Religious and Ethnic Connections

p. 33

The Arrival of Children

p. 33

A Love of Orthodoxy

p. 34

Summary

p. 34

How Inter-Christian Couples View Their Marriages

p. 36

The Downside of Being Intermarried

p. 38

Inter-Christian but not Inter-Religious

p. 39

Summary

p. 40

A View of Intermarriage in the GOA

p. 41

A Theory of Intermarriages in the GOA

p. 43

The Developmental Dimension

p. 43

The Social Ecological Dimension

p. 44

Balancing Individual and Couple Needs - Meet Martha and Gus

p. 44

Some Observations

p. 45

Balancing Nuclear Family Needs with Extended Family Needs

p. 47

John and Mary

p. 47

Some Observations

p. 50

Summary

p. 51

Challenges Facing Dating Couples

p. 52

General Dating Challenges

p. 52

Typical Individual Challenges

p. 53

Typical Extended Family Challenges

p. 54

Guidelines that Should Assist Clergy and Lay Church Workers

p. 55

An Exercise for the GOYA and YAL

p. 58

Challenges Engaged Couples Encounter

p. 61

Typical Extended Family Challenges

p. 62

Pressures to Wed in the Greek Orthodox Church

p. 66

Pressure Lessens Before Marriage

p. 68

Guidelines to Assist Clergy and Lay Workers

p. 68

Challenges Newlyweds Face after Marriage

p. 78

Guidelines that Might Assist Clergy and Lay Workers

p. 80

From Conception through Young Adulthood: Challenges that Parents Encounter as Their Children Mature

p. 92

Challenges Related to Starting a Family

p. 93

When the Children Begin Maturing

p. 96

When Children Reach Adolescence

p. 100

When Children Begin Leaving Home

p. 105

After the Last Child has Left Home

p. 108

Two Ways to Present This Information to Intermarried Couples

p. 112

Guidelines that Should Assist Clergy and Lay Workers

p. 113

Summary

p. 117

Pastoral Directives

p. 118

Pastoral Directives

p. 119

Pastoral Approaches and Programs

p. 123

What are some basic realities that the Church must consider in its efforts to minister to intermarried couples?

p. 125

How can the Church be more welcoming to the non-Orthodox spouse?

p. 126

How can the Church assist intermarried parents?

p. 128

What are some tangible approaches and programs that can assist intermarried couples?

p. 130

Summary

p. 135

The Value of Premarital Preparation for Intermarried Couples

p. 136

How to Use the Materials in the Section

p. 138

Expect Resistance from Some Couples

p. 139

Some Ways to Use the Materials

p. 140

A Final Thought

p. 141

Important Premarital Questions that Couples Should Consider

p. 142

Question 1. Have we prayerfully discussed the pros and cons of entering into an inter-Christian marriage versus a single-church marriage?

p. 142

Question 2. Have we prayerfully discussed the pros and cons of becoming an inter-Christian family versus a single-church family?

p. 143

Question 3. Have I been entirely honest with myself about entering an inter-Christian, inter-Church marriage?

p. 145

Question 4. Have I been entirely honest with my spouse about entering an inter-Christian, inter-Church marriage?

p. 146

Question 5. How do I meet my personal religious and spiritual needs in an intermarriage?

p. 147

Question 6. Is it necessary to be acquainted with my spouse's religious tradition?

p. 148

Question 7. Will we worship together or apart?

p. 149

When Both Spouses Have High Religious Commitment

p. 150

Unequal Religious Commitment

p. 151

Spouses with Equally Low Levels of Religiosity

p. 152

Question 8. Have we discussed our religious financial commitments?

p. 153

Question 9. How much of a Greek Orthodox home will we have?

p. 153

Question 10. In which partner's faith tradition will the children be baptized?

p. 154

Question 11. How will the children develop their religious identity?

p. 155

Question 12. How do we deal with our future children's questions regarding our intermarriage?

p. 156

Question 13. How do we honor and respect our own parents in our efforts to raise our children?

p. 158

Question 14. Am I aware of the Orthodox Church's rules pertaining to intermarried couples?

p. 160

Question 15. Do I know why my non-Orthodox in-laws cannot receive the sacraments in the Greek Orthodox Church?

p. 161

Question 16. Have we discussed how we will respect each other's cultural traditions and preferences?

p. 162

Question 17. Is it necessary to be acquainted with my future spouse's ethnic and cultural background?

p. 164

Assessing Your Readiness to Intermarry

p. 167

Notes

p. 173

Paperback:

183 Pages

Publisher:

Holy Cross Orthodox Press

ISBN:

978-1-584381-00-6

Product Dimensions:

9 x 6

Author:

Charles Joanides

Publication Year:

2004